Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and cover your answers!
–Wildcat Rock Machine
1) What kind of tracks are these?
—Surly’s new 36-inch wide “Paw Patrol” tire
(He’s sad because his penis is broken.)
2) Cycling causes sexual dysfunction.
3) Chris Froome claims his “adverse analytical finding” was due to:
—A malfunctioning asthma inhaler
—Being clinically dead
4) Strava users are unwittingly giving away:
—Their personal data
—Their adulterous rendezvous
—The locations of secret US army bases
—How badly they suck
5) The driver:
—“…hit the accelerator instead of the brake”
—“…was attempting to pass a pack of cyclists riding two abreast”
—“…was confused by a newly-installed bike lane”
—“–was not wearing a helmet”
6) This bike is the Yuba ___________”
7) Who is Charlie Butt?
—An Australian trucker who hates cyclists
—A Canadian adult film director
—Historian, wit, bon viveur, and rear half of the Johnson brothers
—He’s you, he’s me, he’s all of us
***Special “Bicycles Are Destroying Society”–Themed Bonus Video!***
No charges for the driver who gave chase and hit an NYPD officer though.