New Outside Column!

I’ve got a new Outside column live on the Internet, and the subject is something I know a lot about:

Making an effort is like sooo tacky.

Speaking of tacky, I mentioned sandals yesterday, which seems to have touched a bunion:

Anonymous said…

sandals are stupid. Fuck sandals. I hate them. Where is the rest of your shoe, loser! who died and made you Jesus? Spartacus called, and he wants his shoes back! sandals are for old people and best worn with knee high black dress socks. If you’re going to look like some kind of friggin doofus you might as well go all in. Fuck sandals.

May 15, 2018 at 2:57 PM 

You have to wonder what happened to this person to make them feel so strongly about sandals.  Perhaps the commenter is former president George W. Bush:

Ah yes, everyone’s a critic, for a little later someone weighed in on my brake levers:

Adam said…

Yoo Snob, what’s up with that brake lever angle?

May 16, 2018 at 4:01 AM

Uh, I dunno, maybe I positioned them there because it’s where my hands go and it’s comfortable?

I mean I tried to rotate them vertically so they’re pointing straight up at the sky but it just didn’t work:

But sure, I guess I should straight out in front of me like the clutch on a Harley Davidson because that’s the way your Trek Fuel came when you bought it.

I’ve learned a lot in nearly 11 years (!) of blogging, and one of them is that mountain bikers are way more petty than roadies.

Finally, nobody asked for it but it’s here anyway.  Meet the Rapha saddle:

We’ve been designing the world’s finest bib shorts for years, yet we’ve never had control of their interaction with saddles. Until now.

Wait, what?  Does it force you to stand up and sit down at set intervals?

I don’t know, but apparently Rapha are now pairing certain saddles with certain shorts like some kind of overbearing ass-sommelier:


A saddle for riders who need a lightweight build which is comfortable when riding hard, this race-ready model is the perfect partner for our Pro Team Bib Shorts II. Handmade entirely from carbon, it is designed for comfort at a minimum weight – the narrow version weighs 144 grams. For added pressure relief, a cutout version is available, weighing in even lighter at 141 grams.

They said “comfortable when riding hard.”  Heh, heh.

But wait, there’s more!


No two riders are the same, yet most saddles are designed and produced as if they were. To challenge conventional wisdom on saddle fitting, Rapha saddles are designed to work in tandem with our bib shorts. Using a few key pieces of information, our fit calculator recommends a saddle and bib short combination tailored to you.

Most saddles are designed like all riders are the same?  Please find me a saddle manufacturer that doesn’t offer at least eleventy billion different saddle models–though granted their fit calculator seems more logical than the stupid Fi;z*i’k thing where you’re supposed to divine your scranus animal:

Oh I see some bull alright…