So why am I going to Portland? (Aw, shit, I just gave it away.) Well I’d love to say I’m going out there for a lovely relaxing weekend of getting my beard oiled and having stars tattooed on my person, but the reason for my visit is STRICTLY BUSINESS and I’ll be working on a piece of ostensible journalism. Still, Portland really wants me to get a tattoo though:
Jesus, Portland, I’m just trying to book a goddamn hotel!
At this point in my life I sometimes catch myself feeling inadequate: no Nobel Prize yet, I’m still flying commercial, and I’m no closer to owning that second home in St. Barts. However, every so often I realize I’ve got it made, because I’ve got ready access to one luxury of which most cyclists in New York City can merely dream.
That’s right, I’ve got a hose:
And what’s even more decadent than having a hose? Having a hose and barely washing your bikes anyway because you’re a lazy dirtbag.
Oh yeah, I’m living the life.
Finally, a new contender has emerged for dorkiest commentator ever, and it’s this person who’s obsessed with tires:
Actually Tan, the Paesella is a pretty shitty tire. Kind of surprising coming from a self-proclaimed princess who claims to “feel” 2cm in wheelbase, yet can’t tell the difference from a casing that is like iron versus something that doesn’t suck.
But keep up yer blather. You amuse me. Like a clown.
August 14, 2018 at 9:12 PM
Jeez, these Jan Heine disciples are really touchy. Sure, 2cm of wheelbase is meaningless, yet one Panaracer tire sucks whereas a differently-branded Panaracer tire is the be-all end-all of cycling bliss.
Makes sense to me.
By the way, if you don’t think 2cm is a lot, here’s a test: move any part of your bicycle 2cm from where it is now and tell me if if makes a noticeable difference.
I bet it does.