There Will Absolutely Be A Friday Fun Quiz, Just Not Today


Wow, I can’t believe it, there’s only one outraged comment on Outside’s Facebook post for my latest column!

Rebecca Ruth Why on earth would you want to. Won’t bother reading this one. What will they think of next.

You know, Rebecca, if you actually read the column you might find out why on earth you’d want…oh never mind.

Mitch Walker Would you PLEASE focus on outdoor articles. NOT politics. I’m about to write the CEO of the publishing company.

Uh-oh!

And my column was merely the latest in a series of indignities to which Mitch has been subjected by Outside.  He also had to witness a picture of two similarly-gendered people sharing a single sleeping bag:

Mitch Walker Between this article and the one last week featuring two guys in a sleeping bag (which I don’t agree with but it’s the way the millennial a operate LOL), the mags comment “get over it,” the company needs to clean up its image. Highly unprofessional

I don’t know what’s dumber: getting freaked out by two guys in a sleeping bag, or blaming everything you don’t like on “millennials.”

None of which is to imply Mitch is some sort of idiot, of course:

Mitch Walker How about all of you suck a fucking dick

Just kidding, he clearly is.

Anyway, clearly I’ve got to get these people more angry, and a column about how riding carbon fiber causes birth defects should do it.  (Especially if I emphasize that you should have the right to terminate that pregnancy.)

Speaking of only riding one bike for a year, you’ll no doubt be fascinated to know that I’m in the midst of curating a pair of “road” wheels for Ol’ Piney:

I had some Bruce Gordon Rock n’ Road tires lying around, and I had some 29er wheels lying around.  Now all I’ve got to do is install the 180mm front rotor and ridiculously huge 11-42 cassette I just received and then wait for some of this fucking snow to melt:

I did take a very short spin today and it was a total shitshow out there.  The trails are too snowy to ride even with my chubby tires*, and the streets are a slushy mess besieged by impatient and inept drivers.  I mean seriously, how the hell do you rear-end a Department of Sanitation snowplow?  I don’t know, but the idiot in the SUV with the Georgia plates somehow managed to pull it off.  

*[And no, I’m NOT GETTING A FAT BIKE!  That wouldn’t have helped either, because I don’t see anyone grooming the trails for me anytime soon.]

Super 8 CX Nationals Project from Local Cycling Network on Vimeo.

If there’s one thing the world needs more of it’s niche sports filmed with obsolete equipment, and it probably won’t surprise you to learn that the filmmaker is painfully earnest about this project:

Or that Super 8 film looks like crap:

So crappy in fact that you can barely make out the bunny ears:

Still, of course I understand it’s not about the quality, it’s about getting together afterwards and watching it while drinking craft brews and twirling the ends of your waxed mustache. 

I wish him nothing but the best, and I look forward to his next fundraising campaign, which will no doubt involve bike polo and Polaroid portraiture.